It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
