oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize