His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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