My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
