dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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