Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
