Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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