I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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