dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We are all done wearing pants today
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