Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
