I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
