New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Two words: nipple clamps
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