He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
