she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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