She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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