i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
