there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
