so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
