How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
