great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I did not marry a roomba.
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