i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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