i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
