I wanna passion pit in your ass
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
