No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
