The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
