You work out of a Hotel?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
