You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
