I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
