I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize