So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
