i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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