i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
