You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
