First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
