well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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