party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
