Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
