She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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