Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
