she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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