your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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