Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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