i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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