We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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