you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
