You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
