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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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