There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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