You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
id be glad to
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
