I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
